Miss Manners: Why Wine Shouldn’t Be Your Go-To Gift Choice

Dear Miss Manners:

I’ve received a delivery notice about two bottles of wine arriving soon. This marks the fourth time I’ve gotten such a gift from a financial advisor who handles some of my accounts. While I always send a gracious thank-you afterward, there’s a significant issue: I don’t drink wine!

Instead, I typically give it away to someone who enjoys it. However, I have friends and family members in recovery from alcoholism, and I find it rather inconsiderate for a professional, looking to establish goodwill, to send a gift that could be offensive or even harmful. It’s akin to sending cigars to a person trying to quit smoking.

My husband believes this is just a common default gift, that “people just give wine,” without much thought. So, should I continue thanking him while not revealing that the wine ultimately goes to others?

Gentle Reader:

Not all gifts are suitable, which is often why one shouldn’t give them to someone whose preferences they don’t know, particularly in a business context.

People often suggest making a charitable donation in someone’s name instead of giving a gift to avoid this dilemma. However, this solution can also be problematic when the recipient has no interest in or actively objects to the charity chosen.

It’s regrettable to consider abandoning the cherished tradition of exchanging thoughtful gifts. In instances where the gift comes from friends, it could be unkind to notify them of their thoughtlessness. But when it’s from a business acquaintance who cannot reasonably know your preferences, you can simply thank them and express, “Actually, we do not drink.”

Your husband is right; wine has become an easy go-to gift, especially for hosts. This practice, once deemed insulting as it implied that the host’s own wine was unfit for the occasion, continues to persist.

About the Author: Chris Lehoux

Meet Chris Lehoux, an experienced wine connoisseur and dedicated blogger with a deep passion for all things wine-related. With years of expertise in the industry, Chris shares insightful wine reviews, valuable wine tasting tips, expert pairing advice, and captivating tales of vineyard visits. Join Chris on a journey through the world of wine, where every sip is an adventure waiting to be savored!