Navigating Restaurant Etiquette: How to Politely Send Back a Bottle of Wine

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Once upon a time, in the land of snobby sommeliers, a diner was expected to make a split-second decision about a wine’s acceptability the moment a taste of a wine was poured. The wine professional, bottle in hand and a look of superiority on his face (they were all men in this dark history), stood at the ready to challenge any assertion the diner may have attempted to make about the quality of the wine. He had already taken a sniff and a sip from the polished tastevin worn around his neck and had pronounced it fit to drink; the ceremony was all for show and said diner’s opinion was entirely beside the point. Fortunately, we’ve moved into a new era and world of sommeliers.

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The rules of sending a bottle back at restaurants have changed. While it’s probably still best to only do so when there’s something genuinely wrong with the wine—such as it has suffered from cork taint (TCA), been overpowered by Brettanomyces, undergone oxidation, or refermented in the bottle—we spoke with several sommeliers and beverage directors and were repeatedly told that they will take a bottle back simply if the customer doesn’t like it. “Even if a bottle is not flawed, I take it back as I want the guests to leave happy and want to come back because they will remember that they were treated well,” says Aviram Turgeman, beverage director at New York City’s Chef Driven Hospitality.

Unlike the sommeliers of old, today’s crop is interested in helping their guests have the best experience possible, which means exchanging a bottle even if it is perfect. “After resolving the issue and providing a new bottle, I will taste the returned wine behind the scenes,” says Genaro Gallo Escudero, wine director at Eight Tables restaurant in San Francisco.“Whether the guest’s complaint is valid or not, they should not have to drink something they believe is not up to standard.” In the best-case scenario, the problem will be pointed out as soon as the bottle is presented, but sometimes flaws are not immediately obvious. Even so, it’s never too late to call your wine professional back to the table and ask them to re-evaluate the bottle with you.

“It’s best when a guest immediately lets us know if there’s an issue with the wine upon tasting it,” states Des Echavarrie, a master sommelier. He notes that typically, issues are raised 10 to 20 minutes later, by which time a significant amount of wine has already been poured. Although this complicates returning the bottle to the distributor, Echavarrie believes that “a restaurant should always strive to accommodate its guests, regardless of cost considerations.”

Pre-tasting the wine by sommeliers, although not universally practiced, can prevent flawed wines from being served. Alex Ring, the recipient of the Michelin Guide 2023 Chicago Sommelier Award and wine director at Sepia and Proxi in Chicago, makes it a point to taste every wine bottle he opens. “This helps me catch any flawed bottles early,” he says. “I’m well-versed with our list and if I spot a wine that might seem unusual, I discuss it with the guest beforehand.”

Understanding what you are ordering is essential. All wine professionals agree that part of their role is to prepare the customer for what to expect. Scott Stroemer, beverage director at Galit in Chicago, promotes clarity and engagement by incorporating descriptive blurbs into his menu. For instance, a descriptor like “Chuggable Pet Nat of ancient Cypriot red varietal” helps natural wine enthusiasts know what they’re getting into, as opposed to those looking for something like Champagne or Prosecco. At Chef Driven’s Acadia, Turgeman also guides guests about the specific style of wine, especially if it leans towards the peculiar, explaining terms like “farmyard aromas.”

Returning a wine that isn’t flawed isn’t encouraged but isn’t wasteful either. Echavarrie recounts a scenario where a returned bottle of Burgundy was perfectly fine and ended up being enjoyed by different guests at the restaurant. Similarly, at San Francisco’s Epic Steak, Grace Newport uses such opportunities for staff education post-service. Turgeman shares an anecdote of a guest who mistakenly received a white Châteauneuf-du-Pape instead of red but was encouraged to keep both. The error led to the guest discovering a new favorite in Châteauneuf Blanc, highlighting a positive outcome from a misunderstanding.

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About the Author: Chris Lehoux

Meet Chris Lehoux, an experienced wine connoisseur and dedicated blogger with a deep passion for all things wine-related. With years of expertise in the industry, Chris shares insightful wine reviews, valuable wine tasting tips, expert pairing advice, and captivating tales of vineyard visits. Join Chris on a journey through the world of wine, where every sip is an adventure waiting to be savored!