Miss Manners Weighs In: The Etiquette of Wine Glass Refills in Restaurants

Judith Martin, often referred to as Miss Manners, addresses a query about the etiquette surrounding pouring your own wine at a restaurant.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife and I do not dine out frequently, but when we do, we enjoy treating ourselves to a nice restaurant and typically order a bottle of wine.

One aspect that bothers us is the server’s tendency to come over repeatedly to refill our glasses, even when they are still nearly full. This not only disrupts our conversation but also gives the impression that they want us to finish the bottle faster.

What is the most appropriate way to convey that we would prefer to pour our own wine?

DEAR READER: Kindly place your hand over your glass and politely say, “Thank you. I’m not quite done with this glass, so we’ll take care of the remaining pour ourselves to avoid any inconvenience.”

Miss Manners hopes the waiter will not take offense at this gentle reminder for simply fulfilling his duties — for example, by continuing to pour right over your hand.

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(If you have questions for Miss Manners, please reach out via her website, www.missmanners.com; her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

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About the Author: Chris Lehoux

Meet Chris Lehoux, an experienced wine connoisseur and dedicated blogger with a deep passion for all things wine-related. With years of expertise in the industry, Chris shares insightful wine reviews, valuable wine tasting tips, expert pairing advice, and captivating tales of vineyard visits. Join Chris on a journey through the world of wine, where every sip is an adventure waiting to be savored!