Miss Manners: Is Serving Grape Juice in a Wine Glass Considerate or Insensitive to Sober Guests?

Dear Miss Manners:

During Thanksgiving, a family member brought a recovering alcoholic, sober for several years, as a guest. This guest provided grape juice as their beverage instead of wine. While serving drinks, my spouse and I debated whether to serve the juice in a wine glass or a stemless glass. I felt using a wine glass would help the guest feel included, while my spouse worried it might trigger uncomfortable feelings.

After researching, I found no definitive advice. Since this guest is likely to attend our Christmas gathering, we’d appreciate your guidance.

Gentle Reader:

Your spouse seems to underestimate the guest’s strength in maintaining their sobriety, as years of recovery shouldn’t hinge on the type of glass used. Choosing not to drink often elicits rudeness from those who do, leading to teasing or intrusive questioning.

To avoid drawing attention to who is drinking what and potentially embarrassing your non-drinking guest, Miss Manners suggests serving beverages in neutral glasses that won’t signal the presence of alcohol. This way, you create an inclusive atmosphere where all your guests can feel comfortable.

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